uncle

   Used by a speaker to address the brother of his father or mother, or the husband of an aunt, an uncle-in-law.

   The term is used alone, or followed by the first name of the man concerned, especially if the speaker is a child.

   Usage varies in individual families, but a young nephew or niece who uses ‘Uncle’ + first name is likely to switch to first name usage in adolescence. In Consenting Adults, by Peter de Vries, there is the comment: ‘A milestone in our personal relations almost slipped by unnoticed. She had dropped the Uncle business.’

   Like Any Other Man, by Patrick Boyle, has a young woman who says to a family friend: ‘And what’ll I call you? The last time I stayed here you were Uncle Jim.’ ‘Augh, that was in Brian Boru’s time. When the pigs were running bare-footed. You would be entitled to drop the Uncle by this time.’ The young woman was ‘a slip of a schoolgirl’ on her previous visit, but is now an adult. Her use of ‘Uncle’ to address a male friend of the family continues today in British working-class families, though the change to first name only probably comes at a younger age than previously.

   In An American Tragedy, by Thomas Dreiser, a young woman deliberately tries to capitalize on the relationship implied by the use of ‘Uncle’. She is addressing the father of her girl-friend: ‘“I can’t, Uncle Samuel!” called Sondra, familiarly and showily and yet somehow sweetly, seeking to ingratiate herself by this affected relationship.’

   A writer in the Gentleman’s Magazine, December 1793, says: ‘It is common in Cornwall to call all elderly persons Aunt or Uncle, prefixed to their names.’ ‘Names’ in this context probably means last names.

   Such usage was probably meant to be friendly, as perhaps was the use of ‘Aunt’ and ‘Uncle’ to elderly slaves in the southern states of America. But Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom was only that. He was never addressed as ‘Mr’ + last name, nor does the reader of Uncle Tom’s Cabin ever learn the last name of Tom and his wife Chloë.

   The use of ‘Uncle’ to address a black American in modern times would offend the hearer, reminding him of a time when either ‘Boy’ or ‘Uncle’ was considered to be sufficient identification for any black man. In An American Dream, by Norman Mailer, a black American is able to make ‘Uncle’ an insult by using the term to a white man.

   ‘Uncle’ is well used in the Shakespearean plays, often qualified, as are all such terms, to make expressions like: dear uncle, worthy uncle, my noble uncle. The latter term is used by Bolingbroke to York, in Richard the Second (2:iii), but York is not impressed when Bolingbroke kneels to him. ‘Show me thy humble heart, and not thy knee, Whose duty is deceivable and false.’ ‘My gracious uncle!’ ‘Tut, tut! Grace me no grace, nor uncle me no uncle. I am no traitor’s uncle.’

   Monica Dickens, in Thursday Afternoons, plays a literary joke when one man addresses another with: ‘Nice evening, Uncle.’ She explains: ‘This was not as familiar as it sounded, for the man’s name was Mr Uncle, ironically, as his only nephew or niece was an abortive effort of his wife’s sister’s, with a deformed palate and a lolling head.’ ‘Uncle’ does actually exist as an English surname, as does ‘Eame’, which represents Old English eam, ‘uncle’.